Life Lesson No. 143
On the eve of 30, it seems reasonable to ask why I am a different person than I was five, 10 or 15 years ago. The answer, of course, is that my experiences have changed me.
I have come to the conclusion that every experience has shattered my sense of self. In the aftermath of each experience – large and small, good and bad – I have been left to piece together my sense of self. The end result of each experience has been a new sense of self that vaguely resembles the previous sense of self. Slowly, though, I have been changed into something far removed from who I was so long ago.
At each turn, it has been up to me to sort out the most important qualities and retain those to the best of my ability. To that end, I believe I am who I am based on choices I have made.
To the extent that I have become less trusting, I believe it is because any negative experience has forced me to piece together the bits of self with an adhesive of skepticism. Some might call it naivete, but I once was far too trusting of others. To become an effective adult, I had to replace that trustfulness with a healthy dose of skepticism and doubt.
Fortunately, I have a part of me that is capable of storing all of the fragments of trust that once bound together my sense of self. In my love of those closest to me, I can place those once-broken pieces. It is for this reason that I believe humans cannot be solitary creatures.
I may a different person than I was 15 years ago. Fortunately, with the love of those closest to me, I am not as different as it may seem.
I have come to the conclusion that every experience has shattered my sense of self. In the aftermath of each experience – large and small, good and bad – I have been left to piece together my sense of self. The end result of each experience has been a new sense of self that vaguely resembles the previous sense of self. Slowly, though, I have been changed into something far removed from who I was so long ago.
At each turn, it has been up to me to sort out the most important qualities and retain those to the best of my ability. To that end, I believe I am who I am based on choices I have made.
To the extent that I have become less trusting, I believe it is because any negative experience has forced me to piece together the bits of self with an adhesive of skepticism. Some might call it naivete, but I once was far too trusting of others. To become an effective adult, I had to replace that trustfulness with a healthy dose of skepticism and doubt.
Fortunately, I have a part of me that is capable of storing all of the fragments of trust that once bound together my sense of self. In my love of those closest to me, I can place those once-broken pieces. It is for this reason that I believe humans cannot be solitary creatures.
I may a different person than I was 15 years ago. Fortunately, with the love of those closest to me, I am not as different as it may seem.
posted by russell at 8:37 AM
1 Comments:
I was next-blogging and you were next. Just wanted to let you know I enjoyed reading. I just turned 40 and the contemplations do not change 10 years later...
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